Early Morning

[.:Drenchy:.]

Windmist's eyes softened. "No, it usually isn't," she sighed. "It's better to let out your feelings then keep them in. Letting them out may involve pain; like talking to Hazelpaw. But it's up to you whether you want to do that or not, not me." She smiled softly. "Did that help?" She padded next to Faithpaw and put her flank against her apprentice's.

[K a r m a]

Faithpaw nodded, grateful for the advice. "Yes, Windmist. That helped alot. Thank you so much." She sat there for a moment and thought about what her mentor had told her, then added, "Then in that case, I'm not okay. I won't even pretend I'm okay. I'm terrible, I'm a disaster, but don't worry about me. There's nothing you can do to make it better anyways. All I can do is wait, healing will take time." Absentmindedly, Faithpaw flopped down and placed her small sliver paw on a plump purple berry, rolling it around in the dirt. "This is one of the most emotional things I've had to go through," She sniffed, rubbing her cheek with the other paw. "Windmist, not to say that I am or anything, but do you ever regret choosing the path of a medicine cat?" Another question popped into her mind, it was amazing how little Faithpaw knew about her mentor. "Have you ever had to go through something like this? Like I am now?"

[.:Drenchy:.]

Windmist looked up, snapped out of her thoughts by Faithpaw's questions. Her eyes softened as she listened to the rapid questions. "To answer the first, yes, sometimes I do, but I enjoy it to the fullest now that I'm here," she smiled lightly.
She sighed when it came time to answer her next question. "Yes," she started simply. She lay down and rest her head against the ground. "That's why I have advice for you. I hate to see you end up like me. But, being a medicine cat has it's ups and downs. The only reasons I regretted being a medicine cat was because of him. I'm not going to say his name, so you won't look at him funny or with anger or any other feelings toward him. I loved him and he loved me. We knew this from the time we became apprentices. But, when I was picked to be a medicine cat apprentice, we were both upset in different ways. He'd visit me often for about 5 days, coming less and less until he never came at all. I found out he was seeing another cat. He was so happy. It made me so upset to know he'd forgotten me already. He just rolled me off his mind like I was a broken toy he'd finished playing with. And now, she's had kits; his kits. Something I could never do. That's when I found Mistheart, which is a complete other story." She sighed and closed her eyes, lost in thoughts of sadness about him. A small tear rolled down her cheek and into the dirt on the ground.

[K a r m a]

Faithpaw narrowed her eyes and whined in sympathy, bounding over to her mentor's side. She pressed herself against Windmist's warm body and stroked her back with her tail. Faithpaw hoped with all her heart that her slow rhythmic strokes would sooth the distressed medicine cat, because she didn't know what else to do. She didn't know what to say. "That's so sad," She whispered finally, "I-I'm so sorry I asked. It was none of my business, really. I didn't mean to.. remind you of him." Speaking of which, I wonder who he is.. Faithpaw knew Windmist wasn't trying to make her feel worse, but somehow, she just did. She felt worse. Windmist said the tom started visiting her less and less. Does that mean Hazelpaw will do the same to me? Will he just push me out of his mind, as if I never meant anything to him? Should I forget about him now before I get hurt? But of course, that didn't matter quite yet. Turning back to her mentor, Faithpaw brushed away Windmist's tears of sorrow with a gentle tail.

[.:Drenchy:.]

Windmist sniffed. "Thank you." She sighed. "It's fine. Every so often I need a good reminding that my life is fine the way it is." She groaned lightly, beginning to hoist her head back up a bit. "Oh, I'm sorry!" Windmist's neck straightened, her belly still on the ground, realizing. "I didn't mean to make you think Hazelpaw was going to forget about you! If you two are still friends then I doubt he'll forget you. We were just in love or not, there was no in between for us." She sighed again, looking out into the camp. Using her tail, she rubbed her eyes hard, trying to make the tears go away.

[K a r m a]

Faithpaw smiled, feeling a little better now. Maybe everything was going to be alright after all. Maybe she could force herself into being content with the relationship she had with Hazelpaw right now. Besides, it wasn't all that bad. And was there really any way he could forget about her, after all they had been through together? "That's alright," She mewed, "I know you didn't mean it in that way. I-I know we're still friends, and that should be enough for me. We can't be anymore than that, I'm a medicine cat after all, but friends is still good. It's better than nothing. And I trust Mistheart not to mention me to him. I-I just hope he doesn't get into too much trouble. That's all." Shaking her head clear of all this drama, she pressed closer to her mentor. "I'm sorry. I was thinking out loud back there. Are you going to be alright?" Even though she should have been concerned for her mentor at the moment, Faithpaw couldn't help but to wonder, Can a medicine cat have a mate and not have kits? That's all that matters, right? If I'm not too busy taking care of kits, I can still take care of the Clan. And there's no reason why I can't have Hazelpaw too...

[.:Drenchy:.]

Windmist nodded again. "I'm fine," she tried to smile. Her eyes were now swollen and a bit red. "Or, I will be," she thought aloud a bit. "And don't worry, I'm sure Mistheart will make sure he doesn't learn that you were involved. Besides, she would be telling the truth, anyway." She looked to her apprentice. "Something else on your mind?" She seems distracted in a way. I wonder what it is?

[K a r m a]

"Well, it's just..." Faithpaw paused, should she tell? Why not? "Can a medicine cat have a mate, but not have kits? I mean, that's why we made up that rule in the first place, right? The Clan was worried that if the medicine cat was too busy taking care of her kits, then she wouldn't have time for them as well.. But if she didn't have kits, there would be no problem, right? She could care for her Clan, and at the same time, there's really no reason why she can't have a mate on top of that..." Faithpaw knew she sounded childish. Medicine cats before her had been following these rules for many countless moons. There was no reason why they should be altered just for her. It just wasn't fair to the others before her. Still, when Faithpaw thought about her logic, it seemed to make perfect sense. To her, at least. Tilting her head to the left, Faithpaw waited to hear what Windmist would think of this.

[.:Drenchy:.]

Windmist's head tilted. "Well..." she paused. "I'm honestly not sure. It still may have to do with being too distracted. A mate who is always here can distract a medicine cat from her duties, especially if the tom goes hunting and wants the she-cat to go with her. She'll make up an excuse and miss something bad, maybe even letting a cat die. Then the weight will be on the medicine cat's shoulders." She paused, thinking. "Did that help?" She paused once more, but spoke again before she got an answer. "You know, I took care of Mistheart when she was a 2-moon kit. Have I told you that story?"

Mistheart padded to the den, her tail down. She looked back at Hazelpaw in time to hear him apologize. She smiled lightly before turning back. She sighed as she plopped down. She looked up, beginning to listen to their conversation.

((a bit edited, sorry! i was so anxious to get Mistheart in here, i forgot to wait for your post! so, i edited it slightly...))

[K a r m a]

Faithpaw coughed to hide a silent giggle. As a kit, she had always loved listening to Windmist's stories. She didn't want to admit it, but deep down inside Faithpaw had the feeling she would still enjoy it now, even after all this time. "Yes," She replied, "That helped alot. I didn't think it would work anyways. And no, you never told me that story." In her mind, Faithpaw urged Windmist to go on, she wanted to hear the tale. It would help take her mind off Hazelpaw, for a while at least. Seeing Mistheart pad over, it raised her spirits a little more. Windmist would definitely tell the story now that Mistheart was here. Speaking of Mistheart... "Mistheart, is Hazelpaw in alot of trouble?" Faithpaw blushed, she couldn't help but to wonder. Shaking her head, she pushed the question away, "Never mind. I'm over this. Honestly, I am. Anyways, I think Windmist was about to tell a story...?"

[.:Drenchy:.]

Mistheart looked to her and cocked her head, rocking it from side to side as if to say "sort of." "Ah, was she? What about?"
"You, actually," Windmist smiled. Her tailed twitched happily. "Would you like to help me tell it?" Mistheart nodded happily. "Well, then... It started in the dead of leaf-bare, just before it started snowing. It was quite a stressful time here in SpringClan. Our medicine cat had recently been killed and I was being moved up into my complete job..."
[it goes into a "dream scene" so i can explain it in third person... :3]
Windmist, now about 10 moons younger, was running around. What do I do? She paused, seeing the cat's body. That can't be, can it? She stepped in closer, afraid her thoughts would be true. Her tail sat between her legs as she walked forward. She noticed many cats around her with mournful expressions. Her legs wobbled as she kept going forward. "Swiftfoot, Swiftfoot, wake up!" Her eyes swelled with tears...
Fast forward to a few nights later. "Are you going to be okay?" "Are you sure?" The questions of the worried cats rang in her ears. She sat outside the Medicine Cat's den quietly, her head on her paws. She watched the small specks of snow cover the ground since it had begun snowing overnight.
"Windmist, Windmist!" A young cat's voice called at what should've been sunhigh if the snow hadn't been blocked. Her ears perked, curiously. She lifted her head and tilted it. "There's a young kit out in the snow!" Windmist jolted up.
"Where?" She bounded after the apprentice into the woods. The two soon found the freezing bundle...

Windmist paused, turning to Mistheart, who was listening deeply and intently. "Well, keep going!" she pressed, excited.

[K a r m a]

Faithpaw purred with delight and relaxed herself, letting her body go limp. It was nice to hear one of her mentor's old stories again. The last time they she had heard one, she was a kit, about 5 moons old, and still recovering from her strange illness. Windmist had been telling her stories about when she herself was an apprentice. Faithpaw remembered it like yesterday. "Was I born at that time?" Faithpaw asked, her eyes sparkling with wonder and excitement. She flopped down onto her belly, rested her head on her paws, and traced faint circles into the ground with her tail. The story was a great distraction, Faithpaw found it easy not to think about Hazelpaw anymore, for now at least. Narrowing her eyes, the slender silver she-cat pressed her cheek into her paws and smiled contentedly. She waited for the rest of the story to come.

[.:Drenchy:.]

Windmist shook her head, purring herself at Faithpaw and Mistheart's amusement. "No," she replied. "If Mistheart was only 2 moons at the time and she's a warrior, all grown up." She shot a smile to Mistheart and she smiled back. "So..."

The small bundle squirmed, its eyes shut and ears pressed flat to keep out the cold. "Go back to camp and tell the leader for me!" the younger Windmist yelled to the apprentice. She grabbed the bundle by the scruff of the neck, feeling it's cold fur shift. It yelped as she grabbed it's frozen fur. She felt the bundle shiver as she ran to camp, bounding and slowing as she passed through trees.
When she came into camp, she immediately ran into the queens' den. The apprentice raced after her, followed by the leader, who was still Mothstar at the time.

[would you be mothstar in this or would you like me to just play her for a bit?]

Windmist paused again, a bit lost in her pleasing yet hard-to-get-trough memory. Mistheart piped up again. "You really need to stop doing that..." Windmist grinned. Mistheart smiled and rolled her eyes.

[K a r m a]

((Normally you would just continue on with the story, I don't mind if you use one of my charries for that. But I think I'd like to play Mothstar myself just this once, if that's alright with you. Cause there's nothing much I can do with Faithpaw at this point.))

As Windmist's voice filled her ears, Faithpaw realized she was getting a little tired. She had been up early all morning to sort out all the herbs, and after all the drama that had taken place within the past few hours, she just couldn't help but to yawn widely. Faithpaw let her eyes close, but made sure not to fall asleep because she didn't want to miss the rest of the story. She pricked her ears intently to let Windmist know that she was still paying attention and buried her muzzle into her front paws, waiting for the rest of the tale.

"What's this?" Mothstar asked, pushing her way into the nursery. One look at the small frozen bundle and Mothstar's eyes stoned over with shock. "Windmist, where did you get this?" She demanded, "Not from another Clan I hope! You know we can't afford any trouble right now!" Calming down, the Clan leader forced herself to take a deep breath and lower her voice. Leaning in to scent the kit, Mothstar concluded that it had not come from another Clan. Sighing with relief, she leaned back and mumbled an apology to her medicine cat. "I'm sorry. I should have known you would never steal kits from another Clan. I don't know why I even suggested it." Her eyes softening, Mothstar gave the small mewling scrap of fur a couple of gentle licks to help warm it up. "What are we going to do with you?" She murmured.

[.:Drenchy:.]

Windmist watched as Mothstar talked, arguing with her a bit. "No," she said, finally. "I just found her on the boarder between our clan and rogue territory. I was trying to figure out if she was walking before it began snowing." She curled her tail around the small kit, also to help warm it up. She suddenly heard Mothstar murmur what they were going to do with it. "Well, actually, I was thinking I could take care of it." She looked at it.

Windmist smiled at Faithpaw then to Mistheart, who was now resting her head on her paws, listening intently, used to Windmist's pauses now.